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Legal Briefs
By Joe Pivetti

If a lawyer wears shoes and socks, his feet can be quite comfy as he sues and he shocks. If in a divorce case, adultery doesn't make sense, a lawyer goes for his drawers...full of evidence. If a trial gets stagnant and is in need of a change of pace, a lawyer can pull on laundered briefs from his own attache case. If a lawyer is giving a defendant the third degree, he's conceding that it's not part of the charge of quackery. If a defendant caught amongst missing easels needs a hand, he might be counseled against taking the stand. If insubstantially pressed in a suit, a plaintiff's arraignment might be held in dispute. If a terse judge speaks after verdict suspense, it might be in the form of an abbreviated sentence. If a perp is seen splitting a boat crane into bits, it might just be duly recorded in an affidavit. If a lawyer's legalese loses precision, it just might lead to a change of jurisdiction. If an attorney feels out a client's situation, the defendant might end up with probation. If a moored boat wasn't kept locked, a judge might end up with a seizure on his docket. If a witness' walk to the stand takes a very vulgar spin, the unruffled bailiff still swears him in. If a convict's collar gets wet with perspiration, he might get to ask for a new stay of execution. If a too nude model gets quite defiant, his counselor might not have a means to depose his own client. If entering a plea for Christian salvation, a defendant might hope for atonement and re-cross-examination. If a lawyer frames a query to the panel without hurry, he might be trying to mount a case for a hung jury. If a recused attorney still submits a large bill, the client might avoid payment...due to acquittal.