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When we all spoke PIE*
By Joe Pivetti

Linguists say that there is no PIE (There's just no historical evidence to go by) But still they reconstructed it to tie Proto-Italic To Proto-Celtic, -Germanic and -Slavic Together with other mid-eastern Proto-ese That originated somewhere north of the Black Sea (although the salmon argument says it was Baltic). The Kurgans with their horses migrated many klicks And their PIE diverged along the way To evolve into the many daughter languages of today. PIE likely had complex morphology, resonants, Ablauts, declension and conjugation. Laryngealists made PIE fantastique And added Hittite via coefficients sonantiques. PIE grew with morphological marker presence Signaling syntactic relationships within a sentence. PIE likely had pitch accent and its morphemes inherent inflectional tone; Word tone evolution made it the fusional language of the Indo-European zone. PIE people patrilocality is confirmed by lexical evidence. PIE philosophy focused on the harmony and order of worldly existence. PIE speakers had bronze, wheels, weaving, knots, farming, fishing, Goats and sheep but wealth was measured by number of cow tails swishing. * Proto-Indo-European