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That's Dough...Doh
By Joe Pivetti

"I kneed some dough" said the sour baker to his apprentice. "Sorry, but it hasn't arisen" wafted out with the Franciscan fog "Go yeast young man" followed in a Dutch crunch crusty manner. "Bagguette?  Or would you prefer a box?" countered the cashier. "Potato bread is rubles, nostrovia!" came a Russian toast in a wry tone. And when the cobbler next door asked about pricing he was told it's a pumpernickel. The bakery CPA sighed "how can I balance these sheets when their so full of bagels?" The baker asks the dieter "which bread?" and the reply, of course, is "I'll have naan." When asked for the rent money, the baker replied "sorry, I'm all out of flatbread." "Should I get a pack of pilot bread, a box of crackers, or a dozen matzo to you?" Asked why the soda bread was so plain, the baker replied "there's no raisin in it." To open the oven door, the seedy assistant just intones "open sesame". An Italian baker's aide asked if he should get to work and heard "it's what ciabata do." Wanting to add a new twist, the baker/author brioched a new plot. "How long will it take for the dough to rise?"..."It'll take all leavening long." Seeing the completely covered board, the assistant asked "where next?" and the head pastry chef replied "we'll bridge that croissant when we come to it."