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Homophonofiles Love the Home O' Phono Files

With Lists of Records That Sound the Same

By Joe Pivetti

The see's interior decorator alters altars for a living; proper prayers are allowed aloud; an allowed climb is ascent assent. A father cheering up his sons buoys boys; Patrick Stewart getting chewed out is bald bawled out Enterprise captain. Goldie's oft terse nurse was a caring curt Kurt, and, when in session, congressmen's money is capitol capital. Even by day, a miserable mare is a damn dam, and a kneed stag's wife kneads doe dough. "Damn you ewe" might asperse an innocent lamb's dam, and an incorrect inheritance is an heir err. A full party golfing eighteen is a round for four; a true telex is a facts fax; a dirty bird is a foul fowl; a saute monk is a friar fryer. A dude's masquerade costume is a guy's guise; a starting horse's pace is a gate gait; an oldster's test mark is a grayed grade. An arrow pointing to a courtroom is labeled "hear here"; the law is what he'd heed; a mean stag has a hard hart heart. A swabby response to "did you see it?" is "eye aye"; a nice ushers says "sure, I'll aisle ya"; an ardent beau has intense intents. A preserves pantry opening is sided with a jam jamb; Levi Strauss had the jeans genes for success. A wise osprey might espouse a keen keen; a talkative wildebeest knew gnu; a paladin's evening is a knight night. A cargo of precious ore is a lode load; dew oozing from a Welsh onion is a leek leak; lamprey fare is a leach leech. A valley girl grope is a mall maul; a groomed green's in mowed mode; mussel muscle is needed to clam up a kiwi green. Stinking gopher guts are awful offal; a pending paean is an owed ode; in rowing one uses a paddle or oar. A long pork barrel act is a packed pact; a faded bucket is a pale pail; matching Boscs make a pear pair. Milk cartons full of amethyst are quartz quarts; a line for billiard sticks is a cue queue; 5% of a ream of songs is a choior quire. A miserable upchucker is a retch wretch; an earnest tar works with rigger rigor; with rafts on a flooded street it's a rowed road. He who sacks sax really flips off the Bird; smelling money's a cents sense; a seashelling peon is a surf serf; one is a sole soul. A duty on cork board pins is a tacks tax; a deck of crying fans is a tear tier; a thrown throne out is a discarded toilet. The best milk cow is utterly udderly; Drachmas aren't what makers of a Greek urn earn; English longbow craftsmen use yews. Proud blood flows in a vain vein; a tool to clamp down on sin is a vice vise; an alarming toxin phial is a vile vial. A humpback call is a whale wail; a cheese monger might weigh whey; in Oz one might ask "which witch is which?" Unlike in a cat's game of tic-tac-toe, in Scrabble, there are no excess exes. In expressing old family oral tradition, you're telling lore of your yore, and at Christmas (archaically) you'll yule. And lastly, a large chested football official might wear a zebra Z-bra.