NutsAndChews.com			Prose
Yin and Yang	Poetry Prose	Photography Piping Haiku	Yoga Misc	About Links

Semi Literate (or Road Work)
By Joe Pivetti

At a CalTrans meeting, a trucking rep claimed highway wear was mostly due to the weather, to which Chuck Pivetti said "would the esteemed trucking expert please explain how it only rains on the right lane?" Some semis are International, but Kenworth and Peterbilt drivers are all just Paccar fans. Il Volo may not don slickers while singing in the rain, but a Volvo ware's a Mack. A good Freightliner operator may not run under water, but he always has the Benz. In the downhill crawler lane of life, it's just Jake, when a stressed out big wheel man needs a decompression brake. A truant teenager, headed downhill, was caught by a teamster...at a life-saving run-away truck ramp. A library delivery was over due because a pacing baby bear was preventing the convoy...from booking down the road. The donkeys in the trailer started braying to the gods, when the semi driver...started hauling ass. When asked if he was hauling ill-gotten gains for the Irish mob, the teamster replied "that's a load of malarkey." It wasn't the organic fertilizer trucker's fault for the nasty wreck...he had a shitload on his mind. With a pneumatically suspended trailer, a driver was checked by a chopper because he had a load to bear in the air. Then, when that air-ride reefer was being loaded with baked goods, it started to dock hop, so the forklift operator dispensed with the un-gentile bageling. The beer and livestock truck had to chop some hogsheads when a chicken coop weigh-in revealed excess tun-age. When a tomato truck totaled an onion truck, the driver at fault had to catch up and pick up d' guy O. A bucket mouth kept askin' to hear Camptown Races, so an unloaded driver tagged him as the other "bobtail nag". And, why is a dressing table compartment like a trucker with a tall tail?  They're both low boy drawers. A lubricated deadhead, grateful to be at the tiller, jackknifed his jinker, but, by galley, didn't end greasy side up.